harry09's Journal

2:49am: growing up is hard


be of love(a little)
more careful
than of everything
guard her perhaps only

a trifle less
(merely beyond how very)
closely than
nothing,remember love by frequent

anguish(imagine
her least never with most
memory)give entirely each
forever its freedom

(dare until a flower,
understanding sizelessly sunlight
open what thousandth why and
discover laughing)

1:58am: =DDDDD


Average: 19.97 seconds

Individual Times: 18.22, 20.08, 17.91, (35.03), 22.75, 17.92, 20.41, (17.31), 19.42, 23.34, 19.44, 20.20

12:03am: new years party
woodlake pavilion (around 400 Bridgecreek Dr, 29229)
december 31, 7-12ish

you're invited




merry christmas!

3:31pm: jews invented the weekend =P

12:22am: To: Greenpeace
Re: A job

I am writing to apply for a position and I have not enclosed a resume.

I went to visit my friend Ryan, who lives in China town. I’ve been there a dozen times. I stayed blocks away the last time I was here, and every morning I would wake up early and head over to check my email, to have a glass of juice, to play chess and talk about comics and girls. Sorry, I am not staying on topic. The point is that I knew where his house was. I knew the front door, with its graffiti and stickers. I knew the small restaurant next door with dead birds in the window. But on this visit I was with other friends, and one insisted this was not the right door at all. She was very insistent, actually. So we followed her up the street for blocks and blocks, and nothing looked as familiar to me as Ryan’s door had. I started feeling stupid for having doubted it at all. Has that ever happened to you, where someone else is so sure of something that you begin to doubt yourself?

Ryan is great. We wander around the city, just talking, eating ice cream and candy and drinking juice. He gets really upset when I leave my garbage on a table in the park, or set it on a window ledge instead of finding a bin. I will set it down, and when he notices, he will go back to pick it up. Like clockwork, even if I do it again and again in a single day. He doesn’t give up. But that’s good because I can use this against him for my own amusement. When we get on the subway, the doors woosh closed behind us. Oh no, Ryan, someone has left garbage on the floor out there! But the doors are closed! What can we do?

I’m sorry, I’m rambling, Greenpeace. I have been sitting here applying for jobs, and I would much rather be thinking about sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's almost September, and soon fall will be here. I don't know what you're doing today, but maybe you would rather be thinking about sex too. This morning I woke up and remembered an embarrassing sex story. Everyone has embarrassing sex stories, I hope.

Once, a girl and I were in bed together, masturbating. She was on her back, naked, touching herself, and I was above her, mostly naked, doing the same. I was eighteen or nineteen years old, and all I could think about was coming on her breasts. You know, like on the Internet. I think, probably, I was saying something to that effect. I wasn't mentioning the Internet, of course, but I was saying I'm going to come on you, I'm going to come on you. I'm classy like that. I don't remember how she felt about the whole coming-on-her idea, actually, but I can tell you that I was very excited about it. I was almost lying on top of her. I was leaned forward so far. So when I felt my orgasm coming, I looked down between us to watch for, "the come shot."

And then I came in my own eye. It came right at me, like a 3D movie gone terribly wrong, and it stung. I started clawing at my face. She laughed and laughed while I tried frantically to wipe my eye clean. She was curled up naked on the bed, laughing so hard there were tears. I started laughing too. I couldn't help it. We both laughed until it hurt, until the muscles in our cheeks were sore from smiling, and then we looked up at her ceiling, on our backs, exhausted. For the rest of that afternoon, every once in a while one of us would start laughing again and then so would the other. It is one of my favourite memories.

I used to say I never want children. But I do. And I want grandchildren. I want them to have lovers and I want them to know how good it feels to embarrass yourself so totally in front of someone you care about. I want the world to last forever just for moments like that. How sappy can you get? But I do.

I don’t know when I started believing that the world was going to end no matter what, and there was nothing I could do about it but accept it. I don’t know when I started teasing the people who care, or when I started thinking that caring meant you were a flake. I think everyone around me seemed so convinced, so certain, that I let myself get carried away.

Joey Comeau

12:44am: wheeeeee..

back home after sumac now. math kids are pretty cool
spent the last night playing capture the flag after midnight in stanfords main quad, doing the rubik's cube simulator, and then packing

lolll im 69th place for best average, best time is 16.63 (6+3=9, 169! lol)

and also, for real cubing my new pr is 16.95 =D



man, 5 more daysssss =[ its too long

speaking of love(of
which Who knows the
meaning;or how dreaming
becomes

if your heart's mind)i
guess a grassblade
Thinks beyond or
around(as poems are

made)Our picking it. this
caress that laugh
both quickly signify
life's only half(through

deep weather then
or none let's feel
all)mind in mind flesh
In flesh succeeding disappear

- e. e. cummings

7:08pm:


lololllll so much win!



whee i should finish math now

I LOVE YOU JESSIE!<3

6:14pm: so, today at math camp we jumped into a few fountains at Stanford, threw around frisbees and footballs, and ran around in a big circle to make a whirlpool. twice

lol. also, stanford is really pretty, and the food is nice too

miss you, jessie! <3
Flowers resemble beauty
less than our breathing

OK, ROBOT

"Ok, Robot, here we go, just me and you" I said,
swinging my mittened hand.

And then just like that, I was fighting a robot
on top of an abandoned hospital.

The snow beneath my sneakers crunched as I moved
and the snow beneath his metal feet did the same.

And for a second I was happy knowing
that snow crunches, even for robots.

He caught me thinking though, with a left,
and I fell to the ground holding my stomach.

For a brief moment it was silent,
as if sound only exists until a robot punches you in the stomach.

Then a metallic voice asked me if something was the matter,
and if I had forgotten my purse in the car.

I got to my feet slowly,
feeling the tightness in my stomach.

And I replied that, in actuality, it was his mother
who had forgotten her purse in my back seat.

And so we began again.

We swang back and forth for a long time,
until we both collapsed on the roof, exhausted.

"Robot," I said, breathing heavy,
"Tell me everything you know about love."

2:28pm: wheeeeeeee

soo, NYLF was pretty fun. a guy with aids came to talk to us about STDs and stuff. best line:

'yes, you can get it through your eyes and nose. well, if you're good at it'




aaand, joey is funny too:
"
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is estimated that every two and a half minutes in America, someone is raped. According to my calculations, that means that every ten minutes there is a victim of rape [pause for effect] who deserves it.

Because one in four people is a jerk, am I right? [pause for laughter]
"

1:25pm: hi!



i miss you tooo! <3



lol this one reminds me of peter..

12:04am: rawr 

8:17pm:

我很喜歡你!

3:27pm:



=]
penn state was awesome

whooooosh

12:10am:




wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le

12:25am: ok the pool party on saturday is now starting at 5 (pm)

you should come


aand miriam is back from taiwan!
she brought music <3

8:55pm:






I wouldn't want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry
You'd be drowned within my sea

8:13pm: ok im having a pool party on may 26th

woodlake pavilion again
starting at 4 i think

1:24am: I couldn't look at her without going crazy
^(sorry)

[science fiction,]
short stories

from untoward


quite interesting. i really liked them, besides the endings

11:52pm: fuck im still an idiot





This world of dew
is only the world of dew--
and yet . . . and yet . . .

5:29am: ok so today was fun =)

3:08am: ( tie? )

6:13am: sorry for being such an idiot

i am inadequate

8:11pm: =]

USAMO: Find with proof the maximum number of cells in a primitive dinosaur.
( answer )

lol
also, i got a haircut today

12:06am: night night, apple pie

9:37pm: Average: 48.30 seconds
Individual Times: 48.66, 39.84, 51.30, 53.83, 52.64, 39.09, 53.35, 42.61, (56.85), 55.73, (35.43), 45.97